Due to the previous days occurrences I made my intention as follows: “to open up to the powers at hand, feeling what I need to feel and expressing it either silently or violently”. Mainly, I was no longer going to repress my feelings anymore and let out what needed to let out of my body. I had no idea how the day was going to turn out and was both scared and excited for the possibilities.
During formations I was anticipating shedding my emotions. I figured with how I was feeling yesterday, and agreeing to let out the emotions if they came again, that this would be the time to take the next step in this healing process! I started thinking of the factors that almost unraveled me the previous day, but none of them really seemed to have the same effect. The thoughts of violence were only scratching the surface of what was inside. In frustration with myself, for not being able to bring up these emotions, I toned. What came out of my mouth was that of a near yell but nothing that could suffice for the amount of emotions I was felt the previous day. Nonetheless, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I do not know the extent of anger that I was able to get out of my body, but I could definitely feel a change within myself. I accepted that the emotions were not flowing and I decided to let my mind wander a little bit to the things that came to mind. Things that came to mind included medical school, past relationships and the idea of putting a punching bag in the corner so that people could hit something substantial while still “in the moment”. At this point I gave up on my mind and really just sunk into my body. Feeling every cell with every sweeping breath. The visualization of the earth and the prisms of light shinning down on it while being held up in space by two wise hands appeared. I just sat there looking at it and breathing it in.
As we sat in circle another lady expressed the anger that was going on in her body. She continued to talk about what she was experiencing and mentioned that she kept on having “You raise me up” come into her mind. It was quite the coincidence that just earlier that day I was singing that song and when I was getting my treatment I was humming it. Is this really a coincidence?
Upon expressing my experience of the previous day many questions were asked to me and insight provided. Overall it came down to this: I have to live in a way that is honest to myself and I don’t have to be perfect for anything or anyone… we try so hard to please everyone that we lose focus of what it is like to be ourselves. Even though the message was simple, a lot was discussed in this time frame.
The leaders of the group went on to tell everyone how important it is to let these emotions out during these times. “We have to live in the moment”; if you don’t allow yourself to feel these emotions and express them then we boggle them up and store them in our bodies -- not healthy.
During formations I was anticipating shedding my emotions. I figured with how I was feeling yesterday, and agreeing to let out the emotions if they came again, that this would be the time to take the next step in this healing process! I started thinking of the factors that almost unraveled me the previous day, but none of them really seemed to have the same effect. The thoughts of violence were only scratching the surface of what was inside. In frustration with myself, for not being able to bring up these emotions, I toned. What came out of my mouth was that of a near yell but nothing that could suffice for the amount of emotions I was felt the previous day. Nonetheless, it felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I do not know the extent of anger that I was able to get out of my body, but I could definitely feel a change within myself. I accepted that the emotions were not flowing and I decided to let my mind wander a little bit to the things that came to mind. Things that came to mind included medical school, past relationships and the idea of putting a punching bag in the corner so that people could hit something substantial while still “in the moment”. At this point I gave up on my mind and really just sunk into my body. Feeling every cell with every sweeping breath. The visualization of the earth and the prisms of light shinning down on it while being held up in space by two wise hands appeared. I just sat there looking at it and breathing it in.
As we sat in circle another lady expressed the anger that was going on in her body. She continued to talk about what she was experiencing and mentioned that she kept on having “You raise me up” come into her mind. It was quite the coincidence that just earlier that day I was singing that song and when I was getting my treatment I was humming it. Is this really a coincidence?
Upon expressing my experience of the previous day many questions were asked to me and insight provided. Overall it came down to this: I have to live in a way that is honest to myself and I don’t have to be perfect for anything or anyone… we try so hard to please everyone that we lose focus of what it is like to be ourselves. Even though the message was simple, a lot was discussed in this time frame.
The leaders of the group went on to tell everyone how important it is to let these emotions out during these times. “We have to live in the moment”; if you don’t allow yourself to feel these emotions and express them then we boggle them up and store them in our bodies -- not healthy.
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