Day 13 - Back to Reality

I was unable to sleep well last night and I cannot pinpoint the exact reason. Maybe it has to do with the threat of the real world fast approaching and all that I have to do when I get home, or the anxiety that I did not get as much out of this program as I could have. This was a silly thought because I got out of it exactly what I needed to get out of it. It is comparable to the message that McGagger tried to get across in one of his songs, “you can’t always get what you want … you get what you need.”

I woke up feeling exhausted and with only 20 min to get ready. I jumped in the shower quick, rand downstairs and sat in the circle with nothing in my stomach. The intention was made to be myself in everything that I do.

Today was very structured and seemed almost rushed. We only had so much time before the program would be done and according to the leaders we had a lot to accomplish. We did some brain work on our partners and it was quite the experience. While working on my partner, my hands were guided as if I was playing a well known song on the guitar. Every movement was effortless and ‘meant to be’. Spirit was really guiding during this period and I sometimes opened my eyes to see exactly where my fingers were so that I was not going to poke my partners eyes out. Every time I checked my hands I wanted to chuckle because they were right where they were supposed to be.

While getting worked on, about half way through the treatment, there was a point when two electrodes at the points of my temples shot what seemed to be a lightning bolt of energy towards the middle of my brain. I started to think, “oh shit, I hope I did not just erase my brain. Wait… I am thinking, ok, I’m good!” From this time out I started to dream a little bit. Then while I was starting to wake up, I was up watching a cartoon playing on what seemed to be a tv screen, in my head. The cartoon was clear as a bell and the birds in the cartoon did exactly what I told them to do. Cartoons are something that I rarely watch and it was fun to play around with them in my head. When I opened my eyes I was surprised to find that I was not watching tv. They say that brain work activates new parts of your brain to start functioning. This was an example of exactly that a new part of my brain being activated. It was fun to see more of a creative side come out of me.

As the workshop came to a close we had one final lunch and then it was farewell! It was fun to sit down and not have to think about what we were going to be doing next, although the stress of the real world was more evident. As my father came to pick me up I found that I really was going to miss these new people in my life. Even though I did not really get to know them very well, there was a deep connection to most! It was interesting to see how much support and love everyone possessed for one another! We shared an experience that not many have. An uplifting, enlightening journey towards nirvana!

As we drove home I started to get a headache from the motion of the car. The trek home was like a journey to a familiar land, full of new perceptions.

Day 12 - Becoming a Practitioner

Today was full of talking about being a professional practitioner. We covered many aspects of what it entails and what we need to do to make sure that we are safe. Much valuable information was presented and everyone had to soak it all up.

My intention was set: "to love, listen to, learn and feel myself and everyone around me."

One of the most helpful things we did in this session was give each other feedback from the sessions we preformed today and the previous day. It would not have been possible to gain this information from patients who had no idea if you were doing things right or wrong.

Besides those two things and an introduction to Brain Work, all we had was our BIG test! It really wasn’t that big at all and it was funny to see everyone scrambling around the house trying to cram all the information they could about the test into their brains when the had obviously been programmed to stay disconnected from it. This really was evident when I was a the cadaver for the tests and people had a hard time explaining things. There was quite a bit of stumbling for words which would not have happened to anyone given they were well rested and did not just go through two weeks of intensive “therapy” (used lightly).

I am afraid that is all that I have to write about for today, short and sweet! The session is almost over and being our last full day the anticipation of going back into the “real world” is frequent.

Day 11 -Connection With Self

Last night I did not get very good sleep do to my late night talk session with Rita and Terry. When I woke up in the morning I felt very out of it. Specific parts of my body felt swollen like my head, nose, tongue, hands and feet. It was like I was looking into a convex mirror. My head felt like it was continually growing while being compressed by a hat, of which I was not wearing. My tongue felt like it weighted 10 lbs and my nose felt the size of a racquetball. These feelings lasted well through the morning circle! I set my intentions in this state of mind and forgot what they were no more than 5 min after. Later on in the day I was having trouble remembering something and someone commented that I met my intention. I then proceeded to ask what my intention was because I could not remember. Everyone around me started laughing and told me that I set my intention to, “step out of my mind” or something long those lines. Man if I new that that was going to happen I would have set my intentions a little higher like: “I intend to find the meaning of life.” Just another missed opportunity!

New intention: “to be true to myself in everything that I do”

Today was in a little bit of a different order than the previous. We talked briefly, set intentions, did our working sessions, were initiated, did formations and then set up our own treatment plan for one of our selected peers and performed the session. It ended up being a pretty long day!

This afternoon we were initiated as practitioners and all we have to do now is get through tomorrow and pass the test. After that we are pretty much set and just have one session to give and some practitioner information to go over + a summary and demonstration of brain work! It is very weird to think that we will be able to practice this work on clients and could potentially make a living from it, originally and still not my intention. I have decided that since I have gone through this program that I am going to use my new “powers” to do trades for massage sessions! I have never received a professional massage because I never wanted to fork over $65 for an hour massage. Now that I am certified to do Frequencies work, worth equal value if not more, I have something that many people will probably be willing to trade sessions for. So, if you are looking for some frequencies work and are a masseuse… let me know, I would also take chiropractic sessions!

There has been an increase in my working confidence. I feel that I know what I am doing and am confident in what I feel. I know that I do not have full control, if any, over the situation and I just have to feel it happening. I am curious to see if there is any change in my confidence in life. I feel that I am a confident person in what I know how to do but maybe there are things that I will be confident in that I have no idea how to do. Only time will tell.

Day 10 - A Glimpse Into My Heart

Intention: To open my heart to who I am and where I am supposed to go. I made this intention because I have gone far enough in this course without directly asking the higher powers at hand for exactly what I want. It felt kind of selfish to be asking for such but I don’t think that they got too mad at me for doing so. By they I mean the higher powers at hand.

I had some interesting experiences today. While giving work to my partner I really felt the flow of the work and was able to actually feel some things and experienced the true experience of the work. I really let go and let it take control of the situation and allowed myself to be the key to transportation of such energy. One of the coolest experiences was when I was working on my partners spine. Each time we would be in a door and slide towards their spine and connect with the vertebrae I would receive chills down my spine, a sign of a frequency change in your body. I could have expected this every once in a while as I worked on a “patient” but this happened every 30 times I touched the spine. This was not the ending of this experience either. While also working on the spine I could feel, and there fore anticipate my partner having her own changes of frequency. There were numerous times that as I came into a doorway, I felt it really “heat up” and my partner would have a physical reaction to the intensity of energy that I felt. It was really fulfilling to know that I could have that effect on someone. Even though it was not me putting the energy into the person I could feel it! It was as if we were one, and we were in another dimension together.

There is such an importance in this life that we all have to really breathe in every experience we have. By breathing we are allowing ourselves to feel the world and everything that is happening to us. Taking your emotions you have in a situation and accepting them allows us to be true to ourselves.

It was brought up at dinner today on lifestyles that people choose and how they die. Some people feel that there is no point in eating healthy because they would not be happy if they did not eat the foods they enjoy so much. They take quality of life over quantity, but it is a double sided argument. How do you now that is the best you can live if you know your body is not in as good of shape, not speaking athletic shape, as possible? Others strive for a perfect diet and workout regimen in hope for a longer life and better quality from being healthy. The fact of the matter is that you will live your life the way you want to live it and really search in yourself and find what makes YOU and you alone happy! This really got me to thinking about career choice and what I want to do for the rest of my life. I really want to find something, if I have not already found it, that I love doing. It is not worth being miserable and having to fight through life when if I can do something that is true to myself I can just BE! When I look back on my life I want to be able to say, “there is nothing in my life that I would have changed … I love what I did, I love who I am, I love who I am with and I love how I got here!”

When I was given my treatment for the day I really tried to focus in on my intention and feel it in my body. I more specifically asked spirit to let my heart know what it wants/needs. As I was on the table random things started popping into my head, except they were not so random. Camp Avanti was one of the visions and the other was all the children I have worked with through IDS, a therapy program where I worked as a line therapist. These instances were points in my life where I found joy and fulfillment in my life. I am not taking this as a case where that is what I need to do, work with children, but it is a definite possibility. I was more interested that I was able to recognize some instances in my life that I really did feel like I had accomplished something and enjoyed it. Through this experience I have allowed myself to trust myself to get where I need to go and be who I need to be … it just takes some love and passion!

Day 9 - The Power of a Wave

My intention was made to forget my ego and open up to places full of energy and expression. I was not fully successful in accomplishing my intention but sometimes it is just not there and there is internal work to be done that does not require such expressions. I did use my voice a lot more today and toned more frequently. At times it is really helpful and at others it is just a distraction. While laying on the table for my treatment, there was a lot of commotion going on in the room. Lots of yelling, crying, screaming and even some throwing up! It was quite hard for me to be able to relax with all this going on. I am not one that loves loud places. A quaint quite place suits me well!

Today’s focus was on the lower body, specifically the legs. We were introduced to using waves as a source of energy while giving a treatment. Due to the last experience with spirals and not feeling to well while giving the treatment because of the forcefulness to do more spinning and letting the spirals take hold of your body, apprehension towards this treatment was present in everyone. Arna told everyone that we really had to let the energy take our bodies in the wave and it was always to express more! There were a total of 24 waves with a few spirals in the mix. Thank god I did not have to treat first for I was way to tired to deal with all of that.

During my morning treatment a few interesting sensations went over my body. The first was an energy shift that I was not expecting. All of a sudden, when I started to dose off, what felt like a softball sized rock crashing into my middle back. It produced a ripple effect across my body and I could feel every ripple running through my body as if I had been transformed into a pond. The second sensation occurred at the very end of my session when I was done. For the whole session we had to lye on our stomachs and when I turned over on my side my whole body felt like it was a bag of sand. Comparable to having a weighted blanket lying across your body. A slight tingling sensation was felt throughout my whole being and that was when I knew there had been a frequency change.

Throughout that session I believe I was the only one that did not get emotional. I don’t know why this is. Perhaps I have been cured and already faced everything I needed to face over this course. Maybe I just couldn’t get out of my ego state of mind again. I think one of the factors was the noise level and me not being able to be stress-less.

As I prepared to give a treatment I was a little nervous about how emotional everyone in the morning session got while giving the treatments. This ended up not being the case for me. The point in the treatment when people lost it was when we had to experience the energy of the 24 waves. The first wave started out as a big wave and they progressively got bigger and bigger. I don’t know what it was about my experience but it did not relate to others. Many times the wave would come to me and I would move with it. It might through me around here and there but overall there was no negativity about the waves and it was a pleasurable experience. Sometimes the waves would through me around a little, sometimes they would carry me around like I was someone important. I was encapsulated in a bubble and just floated in one. Another went into my heart leaving all the energy there and flushed out the other side. There was a gigantic one that just stood there, turned into ice but had a warm sensation to touch. Another took me in, laid me to rest and re-birthed me. With all these actions it was hard to really take in the whole experience and probably has to be explained in person to get a full understanding of what went on otherwise I would have to write 2-3 pages for this entry. Not that 2-3 pages would make all that big of a difference in the grand scheme of things.

Something happened to me today that shows the intention and idea behind a lot of this work. I was sitting at the dinner table talking with some of my peers about random things and one of the three cats present in the house decided to jump up on my lap. Before he even touched me I knew something was happening and before I knew it I had something in my lap. I was startled and scared shitless until I realized it was the cat. Immediately after that happened … told me to keep that feeling of being scared in my mind and take some deep breathes for if I don’t I will bottle up that fear and it will be stored in my body, probably my lower back. This is the stuff that gets released in these sessions. Emotions that we have to certain triggers in our life that we hold onto instead of face and accept. The feeling I got from taking all of the experience in and breathing was amazing! If only we all had someone there to remind us to just breathe when things like this happen.